Clueless

right now, i'm so clueless already. i feel sad. i feel hurt. i feel like i have hurt her again. i just don'tknow how to do things right anymore. do i have to hide my feelings whenever i feel sad and down? i should tell her the truth but what if the truth will hurt her? i really don't want to feel this way anymore. i just don't know anymore. i feel just so sad that she might be gone again soon. this time for even longer. the only silver lining that i had was that i will have the summer holidays to spend with her. but now, she might not even be here. how should i feel? but how can i even stop her? i want her to be happy. but the thought of her being away again. how can i not feel hurt? in the end, i guess i have to sacrifice what i feel. so she will be happy. is that it? i don't know how much more i can hold on to. if there are other fishes waiting, why keep on trying to hook this one? i love her so much. but sometimes, i get doubts myself. all i know is that i love her and i will wait for as long as i can.