despair... is it time for me to give up?

i have always waited for her. i am still waiting too. but i am now wondering if the time has come for me to let it all go. because what she did these last few days has really hurt me beyond words can express. before this, the many simple things that she did can just lift my spirits up. but now, it feels like not much anymore. what ever she did before this would not have hurt me so much, but now it seems like the smallest things can cause me to bleed so much. am i getting too sensitive? am i getting too emotional? i think i am. and i really feel fear. fear that this is the beginning of the end. because i have seen this before and sadly to say, i am not the type who can give up even though i see this coming. i am like an idiot, clinging on to this dying relationship to the very end. hoping to the end. i rarely go out with her anymore. even when i wanted to walk with her to class, she refuses. only when she will pass by my house, then she allows me to walk with her. she has really changed a lot. and i'm wondering if i am still in love with this person who has changed? can i still wait for her? i am so considering what david has said. because he knows my situation the best. and he is rational. it is this time that i need his advice the most. when i am not thinkin rationally, but affected by my feelings. maybe he's right. maybe i should just forget jaryn and go for ben. she has really been so nice to me. she's always so caring toward me and i can say that most people even think that we are so suitable together. the same interests and all. i can't just stop loving a person. because i am an idiot who clings to the very love that may be failing.