Day 1

i just created this blog today, so my past few posts from my windows live blog.... well, i'll just paste them here

i dreamt about you last night. i don't remember it but i remember waking up this morning feeling very scared. it must have been an unpleasant one. for the whole day, i tried to keep myself busy (as advised by my best pal Vicki) yet even in between doing those things, my mind wanders to you. Vic, if you're reading this then let me tell you your whole advice of forgetting her is going down the drain. last night i finally got it clear with her. we should stop contact with each other for some time. i'm gonna wait till her sports meet is over. but when is that? i know this will hurt me very much. because like it or not, i'm so deeply in love with her. but i have no other choice. its for the best. if she still loves me by then, it will be alright.

she told me that she wants me to be cheerful and don't be sad. does this mean she still cares about me? right now, i'm taking it as a yes. its just that i hurt her so badly that every time she thinks of me, she'll feel very hurt. i'm sorry vic but i'm not gonna take your advice bout forgetting her. because i really love her so much. even as i write this, tears are flowing down. i can't hold it back.

i will try to hold on, even though i want to text her so much. this is a very critical time for me. i've always had problems with determination. will this time be the same? i really hope not. i'm not going to share this blog with her, or anyone else for that matter. only with my two best pals. because only they understand me the most.